Dear safe and healthy people

I assume that by now you are all aware of the recent amendment to the OHS Act in the form of section 69. It contains an additional employer duty, namely, the duty of making your employees happy at work.

It reads:

"(1) Every employer shall provide and maintain, as far as is reasonably practicable, a working environment that makes employees happy.

(2) Without derogating from the generality of an employer's duty under subsection (1), the matters to which this duty refers include in particular -

(a) the provision and maintenance of facilities for employees to engage in intercourse, albeit socially or sexually;

(b) the provision of free contraceptives should employees choose to engage in sexual activities;

(c) the provision and maintenance of material which will excite employees to the extent that they will be sexually aroused;

(d) the training of employees to be happy and to obtain maximum enjoyment, albeit socially or sexually at the workplace; and

(e) the free supply of performance medication such as, but not limited to, Viagra.

Contraventions will lead to stiff penalties.

This amendment has been necessitated by South Africa's ratification of the ILO Treaty entitled, "The better the sex, the happier the worker". To quote selectively from some of the items acceded to by South Africa's representative at the ILO, Prof. J.A.G.S. Randy Khumalo. " Healthy sex means happy workers, who will in turn create a more robust economy. This will improve a nations well-being and (re)productivity. When your economy is flaccid, sexual activity will be lower, not because of sexual problems, but financial problems".

Now that I have your undivided attention, fellow employers, I should mention that I have compiled a oral examination on the new amendment and will soliciting in your area soon. If you want the full monty, log onto our website at www.klasslooch.com and click on "2003 Workshops." Dates, fees etc. will be posted in due course. Subscribers, you already know that Klass Looch Associates will be completely changing the format of the OHS workshops to address the envisaged merging of the Occupational Health & Safety and Mine Health & Safety Acts. I, for one, am very excited about these workshops as I have become a bit tired of flogging the equally tired OHS Act. Oh, yes, Local Authorities, I'm even going to offer you lunch but, sadly, no bar facilities at 08h00 like you requested! This merger, promised to us by the former Chief Inspector, who has vanished into thin air, poses some interesting dilemmas. Some of the nasty provisions of the OHS Act don't exist in the MHS Act, for example, the presumption-in-law, which potentially punishes employers for the sins of their contractors. Equally the MHS Act contains some other nasty provisions which don't exist in the OHS Act. The Department of Labour (DoL) has been its usual mum self and also not given us any additional information. And so we must work it out for ourselves. A bill would be nice. Since the departure of Larry Kloppenborg from the OHS inspectorate (sadly the hemorrhage continues), the DoL's website is flagging. Isn't there something in the Constitution about the Right to Information? What, for example, is the status of the envisaged consolidation of government departments into one inspectorate? (DoL, Mineral & Energy and Health departments). Rumour also has it that the draft Construction Regulations which, in their current form are impracticable, will be diluted?

I should mention that the inspectors have been blitzing workplaces lately and the Minister of Labour has given some interesting stats about contravention notices etc. Go to www.klasslooch.com and click on "OHS News" for more information. The media industry has been warned that inspections are imminent. The Minster has also said that Gauteng out performs KZN as regards OHS compliance.

Those of you who have been loyal websurfers, will know that for the past two weeks our Password Blockage has failed us. (We changed servers and omitted to block Subscriber information). Hope you all downloaded my hard work but, alas, the Password Blockage is back in place for the benefit of Subscribers only. If you snooze you lose. We have room for many more Subscribers and we know who is logging on........

I couldn't wait for 1 April!

As always

Your Devil's Advocate

Thought for the day.

"There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than Alzheimer's research. By 2020, there should be a large elderly population with perky breasts, never-ending erections and no recollection of what to do with either of them!"

Have fun!